I Miss Hell

Facebook meme.

Her blog was Forever in Hell, or just "Hell" for short.  It was the perfect name for a blog that specialized in deconstructing religious memes circulating around the internet.  Unfortunately, her blog now appears to be defunct.  Just this once, I will fill in for her and take a shot at deconstructing the meme pictured above, which has been making its way around facebook like a bad cold.

There was a young girl who decided to take a short cut home from school.

Stop right there.  One sentence in and this already has the feel of Little Red Riding Hood, so we know there will be a Wolf.  If only the girl had not taken the shortcut, or at least had a Saudi-style approved male escort.

The fastest way to her house was to cut through an alley.  The girl approached the alley way.  She saw a man standing like he was waiting for someone.

If the shortcut involves an alley, she's definitely asking for trouble.  The man is probably someone you don't want to meet in a dark alley.  He's waiting for the sun to set so he can fulfill the cliche.

She said a prayer: "Dear Lord please lead me through this alleyway, safe and unharmed.  Amen."

That should work, unless the man says a counter-prayer.  "Dear Lord, don't listen to her.  Focus instead on helping the Ravens win the AFC Championship Game next week." Football has priority over little girls taking shortcuts.

The girl walked through the alley and past the man.  Later on that night, the girl decided to watch the news.  She saw that the man had murdered and raped a young girl. The police said the man told them another girl had passed through the alley 10 minutes before.  They asked him why he didn't attack the first girl.  He said there was a man walking beside her...

It was probably Batman.  She was fortunate, because Batman can't be everywhere. A considerable amount of his time is consumed stalking Commissioner Gordan.

Lord is with us.  We deny His presences, but He is always there.

So it wasn't Batman!  But if the Lord is "always there," why didn't he save the second girl?  What kind of god would allow a little girl to be raped and murdered just because she didn't pray at the right moment?  That's beyond cruel.  Unless, perhaps, he got distracted helping a football player?

95% of people will just read this and shut their phones, but be among the 5% that will read and send to friends! This is a test to see who has more followers... Jesus or Satan.  If Jesus, comment n like the post, Be Blessed.

Apparently, 5% of people will forward just about any stupid email meme they come across.  As for who to follow, I say follow Jesus and Satan, and if either one gets too inappropriate with their tweets, block him.

Come back Hell!  We need you!