Zombie Driver Spam

Zombie driver? Credit: Library of Congress.

A few years ago, I tried my hand at writing spam.  I copied various elements of spam that I'd received and turned it into an anti-driving message.  I posted it on a few forums, but no one got the joke.  In fact, some people were pissed.  I learned a valuable lesson -- it's very hard to make spam funny. 

Here it is:

If you never forward anything else, please forward this to all your contacts... this is very scary to think of... better heed this and pray about it and share it.

A RADICAL terrorist organization has been breaking into cars at night and soaking the upholstery with a Columbian drug called “burundanga.” The fumes -- sometimes confused with that new car smell -- can instill a feeling of omnipotence along with a total disregard for others on the road. Basically, those who inhale the burundanga fumes turn into zombie drivers (awake and talkative but unable to drive properly or share the road with others).

The government is taking great care to conceal the facts about the terrorist burundanga outbreak. If asked, government officials are quick to say that they have no information or that nothing has been confirmed. But keep in mind that the government has a strong interest in preventing a widespread panic.

If ever there was a reason to stop driving, THIS IS IT!!! The only way to determine who the zombie drivers are is for all of the non-zombies to get out of their cars. If at all possible, don’t drive at all! Walk, ride a bike, or take public transit. And stay alert for zombie drivers!!!